The Nth Columnist

 'Stop being stupid!' A parent, first embarrassed then increasingly angry, standing over a boy who is crying but can't articulate the reason why - he just feels overwhelmed. 'Stop being stupid!' The same boy, but now it's a teacher telling him not to be upset and angry. 'Stop being stupid!' The boy, now a young man, in one of his first jobs, trying to articulate what he wants in life, but being ridiculed by an older, more cynical colleague 'Stop being stupid!' The same man, now nearing middle age, talking to himself when he is trying to process a huge, sorrowful event in his life and finds himself crying, alone in a room. Hindsight, it is said, is a wonderful thing. It's very easy to see patterns, for example. And this one is about how negative feelings, or needs and desires that don't fit with the norms of a given set of people,  get slapped down, repressed, ignored and finally self-censored. And then, all too often, the pattern repeats.